


Without The Bitter, The Sweet Isn't As Sweet

by oiyukis



Category: X -エックス- | X/1999
Genre: Established Relationship, Implied/Possible Unhealthy Relationship, M/M, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-04
Updated: 2014-10-04
Packaged: 2018-02-19 19:54:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2400917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oiyukis/pseuds/oiyukis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Breifly, Kamui wonders if this is a good idea. After all, how many ideas had Sorata given him, based on his own relationship, that were terrible in play? But he’d said ‘when Arashi comes back from an exorcism, I like to-’ Kamui can’t think of the last half without flushing. ‘It helps her relax,’ Sorata had said. </p><p>This, Kamui thinks, is anything but relaxing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Without The Bitter, The Sweet Isn't As Sweet

**Author's Note:**

> I declined to rate this as Explicit because I don't feel I go into explicit detail regarding the actual act of sex. If anyone disagrees, feel free to ask me to up the rating!
> 
> I was doing a meme on tumblr for random number generating. This was #21: Oral Sex. 
> 
> In which we don't actually get to the prompt until we're 800 words in, and the fic is twice that length. Title stolen from Mayday Parade, but I can't say it actually applies to anything except one sentence. Also on [Tumblr](http://oiyukis.tumblr.com/post/99118695843/without-the-bitter-the-sweet-isnt-as-sweet).

There’s a nervousness dwelling inside Kamui’s stomach that never goes away. There are times when he can’t sense it as much—when he’s at school, reading through mindless textbooks or skipping class to nap; or when it’s the early hours of the morning before the sun rises, when the sky is just starting to color—but there are other times, like now, when Kamui can’t feel anything _but_ nervousness.

Subaru is back from one of his jobs: the kind he doesn’t tell Kamui about.

The important thing, Kamui reiterates, is that Subaru is back at all. How often had he gone away for months on end, in the beginning of their relationship? Kamui shakes his head, not wanting to dwell on the past.

Subaru sits on the edge of the porch, a lit cigarette hanging between his fingers and black robes fitting loose. His hair is longer than usual—he’s been letting it grow out, and he looks more like… _himself_ , lately, if Kamui can choose a strict definition of the change. He may be doing the Sakurazukamori’s work now, but he’s still Subaru.

Breifly, Kamui wonders if this is a good idea. After all, how many ideas had Sorata given him, based on his own relationship, that were terrible in play? But he’d said ‘when Arashi comes back from an exorcism, I like to-’ Kamui can’t think of the last half without flushing. ‘It helps her relax,’ Sorata had said.

This, Kamui thinks, is anything but relaxing.

He convinces himself to move forward before he’s able to change his mind. Subaru acknowledges his presence with the faint incline of his head, and Kamui feels his surprise as he sinks down and tosses a leg over Subaru’s thighs.

“Kamui-?”

Kamui cups Subaru’s jaw, holding him in place while he tilts his head and goes in for a kiss. It’s smokey—the remnants of the habit Subaru doesn’t seem to want to kick—and bitter, but Kamui has grown used to the taste over the years.

He kisses Subaru with a single-minded determination, hoping his intentions will come across without him having to speak them. He thinks he’ll be able to do it so long as he doesn’t have to explain himself. It had been embarrassing enough listening to Sorata, and then Keiichi because ‘Sorata’s only telling you how to do it with _girls_ ,’ talk about it in the same tone of voice someone would recite a familiar coffee order.

Subaru pulls away first, surprise evident in his eyes. Kamui hopes it’s not the bad kind of surprise. “Kamui?”

He can hear the unspoken questions, so he answers them. “Nothing. You were gone for a while.” As always, his cheeks burn when he gets sentimental. “I missed you.”

For that, Subaru gives a small smile. His smiles have been easier to come by in recent months, and Kamui is grateful for that. Subaru looks best when he’s smiling. “Did you?”

Kamui knows Subaru is only teasing, but he takes it as an invitation. Before he loses his patchwork confidence.

He shifts his weight, reassuring that he’s got enough porch to work with, before kissing Subaru again, pressing in close. Habitually, Subaru’s free hand moves to rest loosely at Kamui’s hip, and the light touch makes him want to shiver. No matter where it is that Subaru touches him, his senses work in overtime to keep his focus there.

Kamui lets himself get lost in the moment, lazily trailing his fingers down the arm that holds Subaru’s cigarette. He shoos it from Subaru’s fingers, pushing the ashtray that it falls to away without breaking the kiss.

Privately, he’s surprised he’s managed to be this graceful so far.

“Kamui,” Subaru murmurs when he finally gets the chance to breathe.

“Don’t say anything.” Kamui tells him. “I mean. You can tell me to stop, but otherwise. Shush.”

“ _Shush_?”

Kamui demonstrates in lieu of an answer, which Subaru seems to appreciate. He moves his hands down to Subaru’s collar, pushing his fingers under the dark fabric to reach bare skin. Subaru is warm to the touch, from the power of the magic flowing through his veins. Kamui could spend the night curled up in his warmth, but he has things he wants to do.

Slowly, he begins to slide back on Subaru’s legs, taking his time so Subaru doesn’t notice. Eventually, Subaru is leaning forward to keep their kisses connected, and Kamui summons up his courage. He pushes Subaru back, bringing his hands down to the tie of Subaru’s robes.

“Kamui-!”

“Shush,” Kamui repeats, ignoring the flush in his cheeks. He can’t bring himself to look up at Subaru. He doesn’t think he’ll be able to until he’s done.

If Subaru wants him to stop, Kamui trusts that he’ll let him know.

He can understand Subaru’s surprise, though. Kamui fumbles with the tie. They’ve never done anything like this before, and certainly not in their backyard. They live far from the city, though, and the walls to this inner garden are high.

Finally, he manages to pull the fabric loose, and he takes a quick breath to clear his thoughts. Fully pushing off the porch, Kamui kneels down on the grass, swallowing at the sharp inhale above him. He steadies his hands on Subaru’s thighs, running his fingers in almost absentminded circles.

“If I’m terrible at this,” Kamui offers quickly, nearly stumbling over the words, “please stop me.”

“You don’t have to-”

“I want to,” Kamui stares pointedly at the edge of the porch. “I do. Just. I want you to like it, too. So if you don’t . . .”

Subaru answers after a pause, “okay.”

Kamui nods, more for his own benefit than anything, and traces his fingers up. He moves closer to the porch, pulling robes and fabric out of his way until Subaru is bared waist-down to him.

It seems fitting, in a way, that Subaru isn’t entirely naked. Despite that, even fully-clothed, Kamui feels like he is.

He doesn’t give himself time to second-guess; he leans in and wraps his mouth around the head of Subaru’s cock. He’s not entirely prepared for the full-body jolt Subaru responds with, and his hand flies up to steady him, just in case.

After that—once his hand and mouth are on Subaru’s dick (and isn’t that a thought he hadn’t expected to think today?)—things get easier.

Keiichi had told him that eagerness made up for technique, and Kamui doesn’t want to be thinking of Keiichi right now but he agrees. He doubts he’s very good at what he’s doing, but the noises coming from Subaru are more than worth it.

Kamui risks a glance up, and the sight nearly makes him stop. Subaru’s head is tilted back, baring his throat, and sweat glistens in the hollows of his collarbones. Kamui can’t see his expression, but. . .

Before, he’d thought that Subaru looked best smiling. This is a close second.

It takes less time than Kamui expects for Subaru’s thighs to start tensing, his voice straining into little puffs of breath and minute groans. He makes a gentleman’s effort to warn Kamui before he comes, but Kamui isn’t well-versed enough in this side of Subaru to notice.

Subaru’s orgasm surprises him, mostly because he can’t imagine he’d been good enough at it to make Subaru come.

The taste is. . .not so appreciated, but it’s not horrid. Kamui manages to swallow it without really tasting it, but he doesn’t think he’ll miss the barest hint he’d gotten. Next time, he’d have to pay closer attention so he could pull off before-

Kamui’s thoughts are interrupted by Subaru suddenly heaving him off the ground, settling Kamui in his lap.

“Was that okay?”

“That was good.” Subaru sounds a little breathless, still. Kamui can hardly believe it. “That was really good.”

“Really?” Kamui doubts.

“Really,” Subaru kisses him quickly, but not quickly enough to avoid Kamui’s expression. “What?”

“Do you know where my mouth just was?” He asks, incredulous.

“As a matter of fact, I do.” Subaru kisses him again, this time longer. “It doesn’t bother me.”

Kamui wrinkles his nose, burrowing close to Subaru so he can blush without being teased. He presses his face between Subaru’s neck and shoulder, wrapping his arms around him.

“Do you want me to-?”

“No.” Kamui breathes him in, acclimating to the new smell of sweat and. . . and sex. “Some other time.”

“Okay.” Subaru presses his lips to the top of Kamui’s head.

Kamui bites his lip, listening to Subaru’s heart even out. He wants to say ‘I love you,’ but he’s not sure the appropriate time to say it is now. He’s never said it before, and after sex seems. . .

He thinks Subaru probably knows, anyway. But.

Kamui is brought out of his thoughts by the sudden ringing of a phone—Subaru’s phone—from the room behind them. He starts, looking over Subaru’s shoulder to see the phone on one of the dressers.

Subaru’s sigh can only be described as frustrated. Kamui feels the same.

Still, Subaru’s jobs aren’t something so easily ignored. Kamui makes to pull away, but Subaru doesn’t move his arms from where they’ve wrapped around Kamui’s waist.

“Don’t you need to get that?”

“They can wait.”

“Are you sure?”

“They can wait,” Subaru repeats firmly.

“You don’t have to stay. I can just-”

“Kamui.”

Kamui closes his mouth.

“You’re more important. They can wait.”

Kamui ducks his head again, hiding his smile against Subaru’s check. “Yeah.” He fails at keeping the happiness from his tone. “Okay.”


End file.
